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Mum SOS
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Beccii
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Back to work
Beccii
11th Jan '19 - 17.05
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Need Mummy advice!
Im looking at going back to work after being with and breastfeeding baby 24 7 for 8 months, she’s just getting over separation anxiety and is more after her Dad these days than me which I’m so happy about. As he’s got more time to look after her I thought I’d go back to work, however it’s 9-6 (Inc travel 815-645) so I’d barely see her. I’m trying to go part time but it’s not looking good so I’m also looking at part time hours elsewhere. 
How did you handle mum guilt? How did you continue to breastfeed? How did you cope without baby? And how on earth did baby cope without you?
Help!

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Lorraine

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Lorraine
11th Jan '19 - 23.23
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Hi Beccii, 

I’ve asked one of our lovely Parent Helpers called Amber to pop by tomorrow to offer you some advice as she herself has more experience with going back to work and breast feeding than I do. She’d be much more helpful.

I do think though to cope with any mum guilt or seperation struggles you have to dive into your job while there perhaps and keep busy until home time. Focus on the benefits of what will come from you working.

Can you make the times you’re with her count x10 as more and make special memories count in that time?

It’ll be tough of course, but you are a great stay at home mum and you will become a great working mum too. Never doubt yourself as a parent. You only want what is best for you family.

Sending all my love, 

Lorraine x

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Amber
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12th Jan '19 - 9.47
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Hi Beccii!  My name is Amber and I think we’re spoken before.  I’m glad to see you here!

As Lorraine mentioned, I am also a working mum.  So let me start by offering you a massive hug.  It can feel really unnatural to walk away from your baby, but I think that you just know when it is the right and sensible decision for your family.

How do I cope with the guilt?  I start by telling myself that I have nothing to feel guilty for; all of the nice things that my children have are because I go out to earn them, every nice meal, toy and experience.  They are lucky children to have a parent who is willing to make the sacrifice of time with them in order to go out to work for them, not just now but as our earning power increases over the years – there will be holidays and things that they will really appreciate as teenagers because we are making this choice as a family now.  Not to mention, we are enabling our partners to be at home with our children – and that is a wonderful thing.  How lovely for them, and for the children, to have that opportunity.  And I tell myself too how important it is for children to see powerful women going out into the world of business and smashing it, to see women providing for their families and men fulfilling a more nurturing role.  You’ll be demonstrating in the home that men can be gentle caretakers and women can be just as capable as their male counterparts in your chosen profession.  It is still hard, but babies get used to it surprisingly quickly and the weekends at home are magical.

I have found it surprisingly easy to keep up breastfeeding.  I try to express every four hours at least in the office, for thirty minutes at a time, and I just stash that milk in the fridge and take it home in the evening.  Get yourself a good double breast pump and figure out where you will pump.  I like to do it at my desk, under a jumper, but by law you have to be provided with a private space that isn’t a bathroom.  I found that my colleagues were really supportive; I hope that yours are too.

When will you go back, Beccii?  

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