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Mum's Mental Health
Support from Experts and other mums if you are suffering with PND, Anxiety or other mental health issues
This is page 1 of 4 (This thread has 49 messages)
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Channel Mum
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How are you feeling today? Take the Quiz
Channel Mum
6th Sep '17 - 13.21
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How are you feeling?  Honestly?

We have a short quiz created by our in-house Psychologist Emma Kenny that will give you an indication of your mental well-being.

Click here to take the test

We’d love you to come back and share the results you got, good or bad as it’s just as important to look after yourself with a high score as it is to seek support with a lower score.   We’re all here to help and support each other no matter what – you are not alone you-are-not-alone

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SiobhanFreegard
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SiobhanFreegard
6th Sep '17 - 16.19
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It would be lovely if you’d post your score along with a line or two about your thoughts. You can post anonymously if you prefer just sign up or log in and when you post you get an option to tick a box ‘post anon’

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Lorraine

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Lorraine
6th Sep '17 - 16.21
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I really appreciated having the chance to sit and think about just my feelings for a moment. As a mum the last person you think about is yourself so it’s been a long time. I scored a 12 which is great yay, admittedly I am in one of the best places mentally I have been at in a long time. I suffer anxiety hugely and it affects me in different situations but right now I’m on top and that’s with thanks to a few factors. I’m trying to focus on the good things right now and that’s keeping me happy and afloat xx 

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NayVee
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NayVee
6th Sep '17 - 16.34
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My score was 33. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I have medication to take but I almost feel numb when I take it so I stopped and yes, I can go from one extreme to another but it’s more around my time of month. However, when I explain this to the doctor they tell me I shouldn’t have just stopped. It’s such a battle. At the moment, I feel alright but other points I feel extremely low and very depressed, which is when I feel I need medication and support from my GP who seems to hate me because of my stopping and then asking for support. :/ 

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Amber
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Amber
6th Sep '17 - 17.09
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NayVee, you poor love – that is a very high score! Do you think that you would be able to visit a different GP, somebody who might be more supportive. You definitely shouldn’t feel judged by your own doctor.

Mine was 18, which sounds about right. So much better than I was a few years ago! PND is hell and I’m SO flipping glad to be through the other side.

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RachaelShaheen
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RachaelShaheen
6th Sep '17 - 17.37
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I scored 31, I suffered with depression before falling pregnant with my first child, I had two years of struggling to conceive as well as stress from my job but once I had my first baby things changed for the better. Now I find I am more anxious than depressed as I have two children now, my husband can’t work so is raising our children as his full time job ? And I work full time to pay the mortgage, bills etc and basically show my children that it’s ok for mummy to work and daddy stay home. I find my anxiety comes from money worries but most of the time we get by well and so in theory I shouldn’t really be worrying x

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ysis
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6th Sep '17 - 19.43
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Mine was 16 – I’ve been feeling pretty good, albeit exhausted with a baby who will not latch off all through the night. Feeling the weight of life responsibilities on my shoulders, which is making me anxious and a bit snappy, but overall I feel happy, excited for the future and in a good mood. But so so tired. SO TIRED! x

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HelenKiddyCharts
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6th Sep '17 - 22.55
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Mine was 0-15, and I know I am currently doing well. But I also know that this wasn’t always the case, and it is thanks to the support of friends, colleagues, and my family, as well as a bit of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) that I am that way now. I definitely would have answered differently just a short year ago. Which all goes to show how incredibly important it is to go to the GP when you feel that there isn’t something quite right – even if you can’t quite put your finger on it. They know the right question to ask; and can really, really help. They won’t (as I feared) blame it all on me, and tell me I am being silly!

Thanks Channel Mum, for being there is help others with something like this, it is SO needed.

H xx

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Donna

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Donna
7th Sep '17 - 9.52
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RachaelShaheen said
I scored 31, I suffered with depression before falling pregnant with my first child, I had two years of struggling to conceive as well as stress from my job but once I had my first baby things changed for the better. Now I find I am more anxious than depressed as I have two children now, my husband can’t work so is raising our children as his full time job ? And I work full time to pay the mortgage, bills etc and basically show my children that it’s ok for mummy to work and daddy stay home. I find my anxiety comes from money worries but most of the time we get by well and so in theory I shouldn’t really be worrying x  

Hi Rachael

Thanks for sharing.   Sometimes our anxieties manifest over something that should make more sense instead of what is truly causing the worry, almost like our minds protect us from what we can’t face but the worry leaks out into something else.  Could this be the case for you do you think?  You’re worrying over money when you know you’ve nothing to worry about really because something else is upsetting you?  Or is it simply that being the breadwinner is stressful and you feel the strain of that at times even though you may not want to change things.   My husband has almost always been the stay at home parent while I work full time and I wouldn’t change it but I still sometimes wish things were different and I worry about what happens if I were to fall ill and couldn’t work.  It might even be that because you were depressed before you had children, you’re just more aware of your emotions and worry simply because you’re aware what your anxiety might mean?  Of if money is the true cause of your worries, is there anything you can do to make you feel a bit more in control so you worry less?

It could be anything causing you to feel more stressed than you should and I’m simply throwing suggestions out to help highlight possibilities in case looking at things from a different angle helps you see what is really causing the worry for you.

It might be worth you taking the quiz again and look at the questions that you answer that you think may give you the high score and think about why and what if anything you could do to change things.  For example if you answered that you don’t sleep very well, could you do anything to change that?   Sometimes just one tiny change has a positive ripple effect on the rest of our life.  However if you’re really not sure why you’re answering the way you do, consider having a chat with your GP and see if there is anything they can suggest to help ease your mind a little bit?

Take Care

Donna x

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SiobhanFreegard
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7th Sep '17 - 10.06
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NayVee said
My score was 33. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I have medication to take but I almost feel numb when I take it so I stopped and yes, I can go from one extreme to another but it’s more around my time of month. However, when I explain this to the doctor they tell me I shouldn’t have just stopped. It’s such a battle. At the moment, I feel alright but other points I feel extremely low and very depressed, which is when I feel I need medication and support from my GP who seems to hate me because of my stopping and then asking for support. :/   

Nayvee I completely understand you not wanting to feel numb, although the fact that is helped you feel more stabilised and not hitting such lows is a good sign for me. I wonder if the dose was too high or if another antidepressant might suit you better. I tried 3 before I found the right one and within days of finding the right one I literally felt ‘normal’ again. 

You should not feel this way about your doctor, his job is to make you feel comfortable enough to be honest and feel able to ask for help. Is there an alternative doctor or can you go back to this one and tell him that you find it hard to ask him for help as you feel he is just cross with you? That should at least embarrass him into being more empathetic! 

Talking also helps, it’s been proven to be as effective as medication in cases. Have you been offered counselling or CBT? And please keep talking to us here, you really are not alone?

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NatashaHoque
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7th Sep '17 - 12.33
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My score is 34 at the moment, although I am having a bad few days.

I have had depression / anxiety for 20+ years now and although I am having a few bad days due to lack of support at home, mainly from my partner and anxiety on not wanting to leave the flat, I went though CBT counselling a couple of years ago and found it so beneficial to be able to identify/ manage / redirect my depression and associated thoughts.  When things get too much it’s so easy not to see the wood for the trees, which is why I need to take a step back / 5 minutes break just to try and ground myself so that I can carry on with a clear mind instead of letting the fog descend and suffer.  I’m not on medication for it and haven’t been for 6 years now, when my partner and I decided to have children I couldn’t take the medication due to it effecting the pregnancy and didn’t want to as they made me feel numb and was like I was a totally different person on the outside.  I think this is why some days are especially hard as I don’t have the backup of medication but would prefer to be me for my family.

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Donna

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Donna
7th Sep '17 - 17.04
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NatashaHoque said
My score is 34 at the moment, although I am having a bad few days.

I have had depression / anxiety for 20+ years now and although I am having a few bad days due to lack of support at home, mainly from my partner and anxiety on not wanting to leave the flat, I went though CBT counselling a couple of years ago and found it so beneficial to be able to identify/ manage / redirect my depression and associated thoughts.  When things get too much it’s so easy not to see the wood for the trees, which is why I need to take a step back / 5 minutes break just to try and ground myself so that I can carry on with a clear mind instead of letting the fog descend and suffer.  I’m not on medication for it and haven’t been for 6 years now, when my partner and I decided to have children I couldn’t take the medication due to it effecting the pregnancy and didn’t want to as they made me feel numb and was like I was a totally different person on the outside.  I think this is why some days are especially hard as I don’t have the backup of medication but would prefer to be me for my family.  

Hi Natasha

Thanks so much for sharing although I’m sorry to read you’re having a bad time at the moment.

Lovely to read about how CBT helped you and that you’re still able to recognise when you ground yourself.  Can I ask what you do specifically or is it simply that you stop and do nothing for 5 minutes to give you that calmer sense again? I’m sure it would help others – myself included – to get some tips from you.

Why isn’t your partner is supporting you?   Is it that he’s busy at the moment himself or does he not understand what you’re going through and how he can help you?   Do you think it would help him to have a read of our “How I can help my partner” guide or maybe visit your GP with you? 

Have you considered talking to your GP again about medication, it may be that there is another one more suitable that would help level you out but still have you feeling like you?    I do know what you mean though as my husband is a long time sufferer of depression and he no longer takes medication however there has been the odd occasion where he has gone back on them temporarily when things have gotten too bad.  Instead he takes long walks to clear his head and stay grounded (exactly like you’ve said you do) or works out which keeps his mood level – he recently had a knee injury and not being able to work out absolutely floored him which proves how beneficial exercise (or the routine of it) helps with depression.  Maybe that’s something you could look into too?  A weekly exercise class or swimming would give you some me-time too?

Take Care

Donna x

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Kristina

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8th Sep '17 - 18.41
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Scored a 21 which is fairly good with all the upheaval and change going on in my life at the moment. 

Ive suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember but it got 10 times worse after having my daughter. However my anxiety was never about things happening to her it was always about things that could happen which would make me unable to look after her properly and provide for her. 

The hardest thing was for me to not feel useless as I was no longer contributing to the household financially. Once I got my head around that as a sahm I had a bigger role than just bringing money in I slowly started relaxing and stopped worrying so much. 

 

Sorry for the essay., it’s hard to stop once you start writing it down 🙂

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Donna

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9th Sep '17 - 18.37
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Hi Kristina

Thanks for sharing and good to hear you’re happy with your score and that you’re putting it into context – we’re here if you want to talk about the upheaval you’re going through too ?

I think we all suffer from the same anxieties about our children to some extent but it’s when you can’t cope with those anxieties or feel you’re worrying too much, which, causes it’s own stress that you realise you have a problem.  Well done on recognising what was causing yours and doing what you can to overcome them as being a SAHM is definitely one of the biggest contributions to a family!

Take Care

Donna x

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11th Sep '17 - 14.24
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I’ve just taken this test and got a score of 30. 

As it is just now I seem to be having more down days than up but slowly getting better. I was diagnosed with depression again after the birth of my daughter back in August 2016. Stopped taking the tablets as I felt about better plus they made me sleep all the time and didn’t like it. 

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