Congratulations on your pregnancy - my name is Maggie the Channelmum HV and sleep and parenting specialist.
When is your next baby due? Do you think your pregnancy may have unsettled her? What you describe is not uncommon as developmental at this age they try to assert their independence and test boundaries. They also get easily frustrated as often their brain is ahead of their physical capabilities. They want instant gratification and struggle to cope with the word no or not being allowed to do something and they easily get overwhelmed and just have a meltdown. Tantrums or meltdowns is an important safety valve for them and allows them to let off steam and vent some of those powerful feelings. Have a look at the link below on my top tips for coming with tantrums which can start at this age.
Distract her and try to avoid saying no where possible but offer limited choices instead see the link above.
An angry child is an upset child and you need to understand the feelings driving this and WHAT may be triggering this. Anger is often a response to threat.
These are often called the antecedents of the behaviour or the ABC model Identify the troigges BEFORE this behaviours happen.
- Antecedent- The events, action(s), or circumstances that occur immediately before a behaviour
*Behaviour- The behaviour in detail
*Consequences- The action(s) or response(s) that immediately follows the behaviour
Is is hunger, tiredness, frustration, boredom, feeling unwell, self-defence, lack of adult supervision. over stimulation, inadequate speech development, mirroring the aggressive behaviour of children around them, being placed in a stressful situation etc? Make a note of what you think may lie behind the behaviour.
If they are angry, they are incapable of calming down and listening to you, you need to let the tantrum run its course BEFORE you try to reason with them. Acknowledge how they feel and show empathy and respect for their feelings. Be kind and calm but FIRM,
Distraction can sometimes work. before the event but It is unrealistic to expect children not to argue or fight at times. Take deep breaths and try to stay calm.
Keep persevering with the kind gentle hands and be a role model of the behaviour you want, Praise her and pay lots of positive attention when she is behaving as you want her to. Praise is a magic ingredient for improving behaviour see below
Is she getting overtired at bedtime? Can you tell about her bedtime routine?
I will be back on Monday if you have further questions. Hang in there you are doing the best you can.