Channel Mum Chat

Dating/starting a new relationship whilst pregnant

Hi mums,

Just looking for some friendly/non judgemental advice on dating whilst expecting. I’m 30 years old, have been single for several years, however in January I found out I was expecting following a brief casual few months with an old flame up until the new year. To cut a long story short, when I told him he made it clear that unless I was to have a termination then our friendship was over and he would never have anything to do with me or the baby from that day on… After a lengthy very difficult few weeks I decided I couldn’t go through with something I feel I’d regret forever based on his feelings and decided to go ahead with the pregnancy which he has since had no communication with me since and made it very much clear that it’ll stay that way, however, almost half way through my pregnancy i know I’ve best the best decision ever, i have amazing support around me and I am excited to welcome my baby into our lives.

Dating or meeting someone has not so much as crossed my mind. However, a previous relationship from in my late teens (who I have always remained good friends with), I speak with regular and has recently told me his feeling have never changed and over the past year no matter how hard he’s tried not too but the feelings have become more and he hasn’t been able to get me off his mind. He knows my situation, he’s not just anybody, my family and friends know him but we have just been friends for years… The only thing that is stopping me from giving things ago is the fact that I am pregnant, with another man’s baby and it never crossed my mind the thought of starting a relationship whilst pregnant - to be quite honest, I’m scared, of how I feel about him too but also how I may be judged or whether it is even right to be dating whilst pregnant?

Like i said, id just love some friendly/non judgement advice or talk on similar experiences in pregnancy? X

You deserve to be happy, he sounds like a nice guy and it seems like what you two have is special.

Your pregnancy doesn’t seem to be an issue for him and why should it matter what others think.

Tell him how you feel and the concerns you have about dating whilst pregnant. Hopefully he will put your mind at ease and you’ll be able to take the relationship at a pace you feel comfortable with.

I doubt anyone will judge you besides you don’t have to say anything to anyone it’s not their business, you’ve said the babies dad doesn’t want anything to do with the situation, which is fair enough. So what else are you meant to do?? You cannot force this upon him.
So be happy, if your new old flame friend knows the situation id say that’s fantastic! He obviously cares for you, as long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters, you never know if in the long term everything works out, he could always adopt your child too. If he’s been there from the start of your child’s life. I feel happy for you, he obviously cares deeply for you. Good luck with everything xxx