Channel Mum Chat

Fear and loneliness

Hi to all people here! Thank you so much for creating this place here for helping us, I really needed right now…
I am 37 years old and I lost a baby last year in an an embryonic pregnancy that was not diagnosed before 4 months, even I was at all my appointments and controls, that made me loose trust in my doctor and the pregnancy nurse that should help me then… Also, because of the Corona situation I had to do a chemical abortion at home and that was so painful and traumatic and one month later I had a hemorrhage and go thru all over again with the release of the e tree at of my placenta… I am shaking and alone because my husband has ME and he has being sick also and my family is far from me because I am from Brazil and live now in Norway, so, right now at 5 weeks pregnancy feeling nausea and dizzy and afraid and I can not tell anyone because it’s too early… I am devastated today, I feel like I am falling in a black hole, no sleep, no food and fear and insecurity…
Thank you for letting me share here my feelings…
Hope all goes fine to all and keep strong!
:pray:t4::slight_smile:

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Hello @andreiaesecko

I am glad you havre found us but so sad to hear all you have been through. I am truly sorry for your loss and the ordeal you endured.

My name is Maggie and I am the Channelmum health visitor - I think you have an equivalent in Norway but here is. link that explains what we do below.

A year ago is such a short time ago in terms of coping with grief and loss - have you had any help, breavement counselling or psychological support with this? It would be worth talking to your GP or doctor about how you feel to get some help with this. I will share a link with you below from the Miscarriage Association who offer help and support a range of excellent rejoices on dealing with feelings after pregnancy loss.

Congratulations on you pregnancy, It is not unusual when you become pregnant again for it to trigger all the worries, loss and feelings you went thought before. It is normal to feel anxious when you become pregnant again after what you went through last time. Please speak to your midwife of GP as soon as possible so youcan be checked over and monitored closely so you can have a safe pregnancy this time,

I am very sorry to hear your husband has ME and you are so very far away from your family. It is hard to be separated from loved ones at times like this. Talking about how you feel is helpful in letting others support you - you cannot protect everyone and you there are times when you need comfort and help.

Do you and your husband talk about the loss of your baby? It is good to talk to each other about how you feel. Have you been trying for another baby? How will your husband feel about you being pregnant again?

You may find this helpful on pregnancy after miscarriage and a little video of a couple talking about their experience and feelings after a miscarriage

Are you working? Do you have friends in Norway you can talk to? Your midwife and doctor should know what help and support groups may be available for you locally.

Your description below of hw you feel is very powerful

Your husband may well have noticed how you feel. There is help for how you feel that can help you feel better - it is just being brave enough to share how you are and get help. You have taken the first step by posting here

Sending love
Maggie x

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Hi Maggie, I have tears in my eyes after reading your message, first, God bless you all doing this amazing work here for helping people for free because my economy would not allow me to look for a private support, I looked for support here in a place called Amathea, but after a few talks my contact go out in a health license and I had no more return from them, so it became me and my husband to deal with all, we talked a lot and we had our process of accepting and wishing a new try, but we didn’t expected that would come so fast after all that happened in my body that was never pregnant before… I did not work at the moment, I am in the process of learning Norwegian and adapting to the new country, his family is very distant emotionally after what happened and they had negative reactions when they get to know I was pregnant, and that was a big deception for me, because My husband have 3 children from before with his ex wife but I also have the right to be a mom! My biggest trauma was not only the miscarriage, but also I went to a private clinic to have my first ultrasound and the way the doctor treated us was like: Wow, there is no baby here (I was filming and excited to show my family and all) then you need to take this pills and come back for sucking up the rest! And he even show us the needle! I was in shock I could not understand what happened before many days after… Then I lost my trust in my doctor and the midwife that always checked me and said all was fine, even there was no sound of heart yet, but, Mrs. Maggie, after your message, I send a message to my doctor and I have an appointment at 04/06/2021, and this time she told we will have the ultrasound as soon as we can! I am happy and hopeful thanks to your message and support, my husband is happy with the baby, but I think his emotional reaction is due to the stress of protecting me from again being hurt by his family reaction and his children and all… I am watching almost all the videos of the Channel on YouTube and that has given me a lot of comfort and empathy and strength! The work you all do here really can change lives! Thank you so much and I hope we can talk more again, if my information can help others my heart is happy! Sorry for my bad English, and I wish all the moms here all the love and light and power, because we woman are superheroes! Only we know! :tulip::pray::heart::slight_smile:

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You’ve been through so much pain @andreiaesecko. I’m so sorry. :frowning:

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Hi @andreiaesecko

I was so shocked at how callously you have been treated - that really is awful. I am happy if my words helped you and very pleased to hear you have an appointment next week with the Doctor and will have an early ultrasound. That is such news.

Your English is very good please do not apologise for it.

Yes you are a superhero and are stronger than you think.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you and wish you a safe, happy and healthy pregnancy.

Love
Maggie xx

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