I need a monent to myself


#1

I have a 6 week old, this is our first child. Had a traumatic labour and when we first got home partner initially helped plenty. Due to having c section can’t do much inside or outside the house and it’s lonely. I haven’t been out the house much.

Baby won’t settle for a nap during the day and cannot get a moment to myself. Even going to toilet she will most likely cry.

Partner does help still but not like when we first got home. I get left some evenings or during weekend so he can go see friends. I’m with the baby all day and need a breather. When he is home I’m still doing everything for baby. Partner doesn’t hold baby for long especially when crying and she ends up in my arms as he loses interest. I have found myself crying most days don’t know if it’s tiredness, frustration, hormones or what


#2

Sorry to hear this. I’m no expert but you say she doesn’t nap in the day at all? What do you do to try and get her down and where does she sleep? Hoping you get some well deserved rest xxx


#3

Hi anon, we were chatting over the weekend about things. Unfortunately due to a technical issue our posts have been deleted, I’m so sorry.

I wanted to pop in and see how you are doing this morning? We were chatting about naps and perhaps trying to get your daughter to sleep in the buggy or a sling. Have you had any thoughts about that?

I also wonder if you feel able to speak to or have spoken to your partner at all? x


#4

I’ve spoken to my partner and his bonding is a bit better with our girl but I’m still taking majority of responsibility. I’ve been expressing milk so he can bond that way also but sometimes I still end up doing it.

The napping isn’t improving, at the moment I have a Moses basket and sleepyhead in our lounge. If she sleeps at all it’s 20mins tops in Moses basket and 45mins in sleepyhead. We have a chicco next to me crib in our bedroom which is used at night. If she napped it would make it so much easier

If it wasn’t for my mum coming over I don’t know how I’d manage the same.


#5

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. I have a 4 month old. It is our first baby. He does not nap well either so I know how debilitating it can be when you just want an hour to yourself but baby won’t sleep. He usually only has 30 minutes a day, no matter what I try, so I’ve just had to accept he’ll nap when he wants. Fortunately he is quite well behaved when he’s awake which helps. I don’t now how big your little girl is, but have you tried a bouncer chair? I can’t remeber if I used it when baby was 6 weeks but found the motion helped my baby nap. He also had severe reflux when he was smaller and being upright helped. Have you checked if silent reflux might be contributing to your girl’s lack of naps? If she’s reluctant to lie down or screams when she’s flat, you may want to ask health visitor or gp about it.

My partner and I have only just recently discussed the division of responsibilities post-baby. I was fed up of hubby saying he’d “do it tomorrow” and that “I’ve been to work” and he thought that was enough of a reason to let all the chores stack up. When I explained how hard it is to do all the housework, entertain the baby, get up in the night to feed etc etc he finally admitted he didn’t realise how much I do. Sometimes men just need it spelled out to them. Explain why you feel you need more help and tell him exactly what you need help with. At the end of the day, your little girl is his too so he should be taking a fair share of the responsibility. He should also want to look after you too, especially with all you’ve been through recently.

Do you have other family/friends who can chip in? Ask for help if you need it and if you feel your physical or mental health is suffering, speak to your gp. Your little girl needs you and you will be no good to her if you’re not looking after yourself.

Trust me, it will get easier.


#6

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this and so unsupported.

Babies can be overwhelming, but you’be got to keep you sanity, and guess what? Just like dog baks and wolves howl, BABIES CRY. That’s a fact. And you don’t actually have to soothe your baby continuosly. As long as she’s fed, healthy, snuggled and clean, you can let her cry. You’ll get used to her cry, and being just a little more selfish for a couple of days will actually make.you love your baby more, instead of wearing you out. Swaddle her, for our firstborn son swaddles were the trick!

After all you’re both still meeting eachother, so try something that makes her comfortable and keep her close and if all is alright, simply let her cry.

Try to get her into a routine, newborns more than anyone love routines!

Hope you figure out what works best for you, and don’t be a fraud to let her cry if she’s OK.

Best wishes to you momma. Start strong, you’re got it!

Xxxxx Cate


#7

Thanks for the support. I’ve had a chat with partner and things have slightly Improved in some aspects. Majority of responsibility is still on me with baby, the little time he is left with her and she cries he just gets annoyed then sits on the couch and watches tv until I appear and settle little one. I’m assuming he is frustrated with himself when baby continues to cry and she won’t stop as he can’t figure it out


#8
Anonymous said Thanks for the support. I’ve had a chat with partner and things have slightly Improved in some aspects. Majority of responsibility is still on me with baby, the little time he is left with her and she cries he just gets annoyed then sits on the couch and watches tv until I appear and settle little one. I’m assuming he is frustrated with himself when baby continues to cry and she won’t stop as he can’t figure it out
glad to hear that things have improved slightly, my youngest would only sleep on me what I did was cuddle in in a blanket and when he was asleep I would put him in his basket and put the blanket over him