Channel Mum Chat

I regret getting pregnant

I seriously regret getting pregnant, I’m 29 pregnant with my first child I’m currently 30 weeks +1 my partner and I got together after being friends for 15 years the pregnancy happened fast unplanned after 2 months together , he has 3 children with his current wife ( going through divorce) since the start him and his ex has caused me non stop stress my waters broke at 22 weeks and I’m seeing a day assessment unit 2 times a week to try keep the baby safe , I’m stressed and have anxiety he doesn’t support me it has always been about his children and making the ex happy with child support the kids are being dragged into arguments as the ex is trying to claim over £125 a week cms and causing more issues that’s putting strain on our relationship I’m so fed up I regret getting pregnant he works 6 days a week 12 hour days I hardly see him and when we have the children it’s all I want this I want that more money ! I’m scared to give birth feel no support of him at all

I’m so sorry you are having to go through all of this during your last few months of the pregnancy @92becky. It must be very stressful for both of you and not what you’d expect to be going through as an expectant mum. x

I’m sorry you’re experiencing a lot of stress at the moment. Did you let your partner know how you feel?

You said that your partner “has always been about his children”. I hope that once your baby is born - your baby will also be able to count on him just as much.

Hi @92becky

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling like this :heart: is your partner aware of how you feel? If you were best friends for so long it sounds like you should be able to talk to him?

Do you have any family support or friends you can speak to about this?

Ultimately if he is going through a divorce then my advice would be to stay out of that completely if possible, let him and his ex decide on child support payments - if she takes him to court then it will be for them to decide anyway.

As for the fact that he works a lot and then you always have the children when he isn’t working, can you communicate this to him? Can he take some holiday so you can spend time together before the baby comes? It’s difficult as of course he will want to have his children to stay but you should also feel like you are loved and prioritised, perhaps you could arrange a date night when the children aren’t home and he could come home from work earlier?

He probably feels a bit stressed with it all too so I would start by talking to him about it and go from there, if you’ve been friends for so long I’m sure he will understand your feelings x