Channel Mum Chat

My son has asked me if its ok to like boys

My 12 year old came home from school asking if its if he likes boys aswell. Was abit taking back by his question asured him it was ok he then asked is it wrong would I think differently told him no I wouldn’t just don’t know how deal with this make sure he’s OK and don’t want to betray his trust by saying to his dad etc just looking for advice many thanks

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I think that’s a perfectly normal question to ask these days, and the fact that he came to you to ask it is something you should feel proud of - it shows that he felt comfortable coming to you about it.

Whether he does like boys or boys & girls won’t change who he is or how you feel about him, he will still be the same child you brought up, the same little boy who loves his mum enough to trust her by asking her a very difficult question.

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Hi @anonymous6023

It sounds like you handled it brilliantly well done. My name is Maggie and I am the Channelmum HV.

It is such a shame children are worried about this and feel it might be wrong. I agree with @anonymous857 children go through all sorts of different stages exploring who they are and their sexual identity as they grow up.

I wonder what is going open at school - it might be worth finding out what they are covering in PSHE.

As a health visitor we have to remain professionally curious and often think the unthinkable to protect children from harm sexual abuse and exploration. My main concern would be to just check out that he is safe and is not being groomed or coerced into something he feels uncomfortable about. Sorry to raise this but sadly it is much more common than your think and young children are often targeted. It is just something to bear in mind. Nothing you have shared would indicate this.

I am going to share a useful leaflet from Young Minds on supporting your child with gender identitiy.

Your son has nothing to feel embarrassed about - I would just love us all to live in a more tolerant society.

Good luck
Maggie x