Channel Mum Chat

Partner neglects us

My partner sleeps in every morning while I play with our four year old and do all the house work. He basically just ignored us and will only get motivated if his friends invite him out or brother visits. He ignores our child. Sometimes will play with him a bit but I discover he’s on the phone or smoking fags while I’ve been out. I actually want to get rid of him but not sure how. My child has started taking it out on me by climbing on me continuously. I think that’s why but maybe he’s just being Four. I shouted at him as he was poking me and climbing on me all morning. I said sorry but feel awful. :disappointed_relieved:

That’s really tough. It’s such a tricky situation, you don’t wanna seem like you’re “nagging” your partner, but you can’t go on like this. For the sake of your sanity and your relationship.

Have you spoken to your partner? Try using “I” language so he doesn’t get defensive.
“I feel that it would really help me if you’re able to have more 1 on 1 time with him. I feel a little over stretched at the moment and would really appreciate and benefit from a little more time. Could you help me try something new by playing X game with him or take him to X (park, family member to visit etc)”

But, from the sounds of it, you seem like you’re ready to end the relationship?
Before doing this, be 100% sure as it’s very hard to come back from and can be easy to think this when you’re stressed and feeling unsupported.

Thank you for your reply. I will talk with him and try that first.

How are things now @anonymous5865? If you are unhappy and this has been going on for a while then you can absolutely change the situation if that’s what you want, I’m not saying it’s easy but it is possible.

Assuming you want to work on this - Have you discussed this with him properly? Sitting down, away from your child and talking about how this is impacting your your child? I would start there and see if you can agree for him to make some changes.

As for the climbing, it can just be typical 4 year old behaviour so don’t worry, but if your little one is upset then I always think plenty of reassurance and lots of love from you will help :heart: