Lulastic Hippyshake

Here is out story about giving up bedtimes – read more on the blog http://lulastic.co.uk HEY -There is a bit in here where I laugh, and I just want to clarify that I am absolutely *not* laughing at people who do routines. I was laughing at the memory of me spending an hour doing the whole list of every routine idea in the book with my tiny baby, when I am the least routiney person on the planet. TOTALLY just laughing at my self and I’m sorry if it comes across as anything other than that.

See more sleep stuff from my Channel Mum crew https://www.channelmum.com/topic/baby-sleep/

Many children around the world are given freedom around their bedtime and they get it right, for themselves, 90% of the time. Recognising their sleepiness and asking to go to bed. They do not head into cortisol/overtired zone.

If we are so concerned about the release of stress hormones at bedtime, why isn’t there more talk of making bedtime a pleasant, connecting time, when children can trust that their parents will continue to meet their needs? As opposed to suggesting that once in their bed there shall be no play, no talk, no more drinks or food (basic needs!) – all of this could release cortisol and adrenalin, every single night.

What if the “playing up” so commonly spoken of at bedtime is because our children are not tired enough for bed? Or because they feel worked up because they are heading into the one time in the day where their parent’s stop meeting their needs? Where their fears are not validated, their worries not given chance to be worked out?

What is our aim at bedtime? To make sure our child gets enough sleep? Or to stay connected to our child, to nurture our relationship with them?

In an ideal world it would be both, of course. If any part of your bedtime routine is causing a disconnect with your child, then it needs to be tackled. And I see so often, in conversation, in magazine articles, in gentle parenting forums, that bedtime is always a battle of wills.